Category Archives: rant

Sweet Potato Fries

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This has been a week of Mondays! It started on…well Monday of course. And I’m ok with a bad day…but this week I have:

  • Dropped my iPhone in a toilet…after a scary 2 hours or so it has somehow miraculously lived in tact
  • Dealt with a sick husband (like vomiting, horribly sick…some sort of 24 hour bug)
  • Left my laptop at home and had to drive all the way back from work to get it
  • Fixed a lovely giant cup of coffee only to find someone had drank (drunk?) ALL THE CREAMER out of my office fridge (Brad and I work together, and we’ve been sharing with a girl across the hall as well…but dang!)
  • Finally get my computer at work and the internet goes down (I am the website manager, kind of need that…)

That was just MONDAY. The rest of the week:

  • Had an AWESOME interview…and didn’t get the job
  • Reagan has been sick with a cough. No fever…but she’s definitely gone in to over-clingy mode. I can’t get anything done around the house.
  • I found out our house hates us!

On that last note…our house (we rent) has an alarm system which is not connected to a service…but every once an awhile it will chirp at us. Usually at 1am. We get up, touch a button, it tells us something (like a status update or something, it’s 1am so I’m not really listening) and stops. Well, over the last couple of days, it started beeping more…and then finally, on Wednesday, it started beeping every 4 freakin’ hours! The best we could figure is that one of the motion sensors’ batteries is low. We had planned to call either the property management company or the home owner about this on Thursday. So, we get up at like 1am to stop the beeping, and the 5am. Brad did it at 1, so at 5 I go stumbling in to the laundry room…and hit the wrong button.

Instead of hitting the “Status Update” button, I hit the “Arm Sensors” button. So then it starts beeping and beeping…and then I tried to correct myself by hitting the “Disarm” button. It tells me “Please enter ID.”

I don’t know the ID.

And the alarm goes off. An alarm that is powered by the angels of Satan! The LOUDEST alarm on the entire planet lives in my laundry room.

So Brad’s jumping up, I’m running around like a crazy person…NOTHING will turn it off. Finally, I started calling the home owner. It’s 5am. Finally on the second call, he picks up. I’m basically trying not to cry at this point as a blubber in to the phone recounting what happened. He told us the code, and the screeching alarm from hell finally stops. At this point I’m basically having some sort of weird panic-attack like reaction…I have no clue why…my heart was racing, I had a horrible headache from the noise, I felt awful because it was all my fault of course.

Rea somehow slept through the whole thing.

It was later that day (yesterday) that I found out that I didn’t get the job that I had all but been told I was a shoe in for.

So yeah. But, last night we called the alarm company and disabled all beeps. Reagan is feeling a bit better, and today I found a pair of shoes that I thought I had lost in the move.

boy shoes

I call these my “boy shoes!” You can’t see it from this photo but it has a cute heel.

So yeah. The best thing of the week is that I never turned to food to soothe or cope with stress. I definitely thought about it. The worst I did was commiserate my not getting the job by having some shrimp moo shu, but not before looking up the nutritional info.

Anywho. You may be wondering what all this has to do with Sweet Potato fries…

I have been pinning recipes to a board on Pinterest of healthier food choices, and one of them was a “recipe” from Katie’s blog. I say “recipe” because there’s not really much to it. You can find the original recipe by following either of those links, but I’ll also re-post here just in case you’re too lazy to click.

Sweet Potato Fries


Sweet Potato Fries

  • 1 large sweet potato
  • cooking spray
  • salt & pepper to taste

Set the oven to ‘broil’ (mine has high and low, so I chose high).

Peel the sweet potato and slice into thin slices (about 1/4 inch).

Slicing them was the hardest part of the whole thing, lol. I need new knives...

Slicing them was the hardest part of the whole thing, lol. I need new knives…

Spray a baking sheet with the cooking spray, and then lay all the sweet potato pieces out on the sheet.

Spray the tops with a little cooking spray and then sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. (I used WAY too much pepper, and the result was that it seemed to kill some of the sweetness. I’ll probably nix the pepper totally next time)

One potato makes a LOT! Please excuse my well loved pan...

One potato makes a LOT! Please excuse my well loved pan…

Put the sheet under the broiler until the tops start to darken, then flip them over and place back under the broiler.

It took about 12 minutes on each side for me, but I think it’s mostly due to my rack being too low. I didn’t realize it until the oven was already hot though. I think I’ll try this again next week and move the rack up. 

Now, I’m the only one in the house that likes sweet potatoes (well, Rea like them, but in pureed form!), so I wasn’t able to eat the whole batch. They are a great, filling snack! So one potato should be good to last you for 2 days or more.

And there you go. Sweet Potato fries. I’m hoping to have something more delicious to post next week, but with the week I’ve had, I’m excited I still tried one new thing! The rest of my week included:

elliptical workout

This was by far the hardest elliptical workout yet…

Taking care of the sweetest baby on the planet...

Taking care of the sweetest baby on the planet…

Virtual 5k!

Signing up for a virtual 5k!


That is Katie’s Virtual 5k walk/run! Today is Katie’s birthday, and she’s hosting a 5k with her blogging friends to celebrate. I’ve got my bib printed and ready to go! Tonight Brad will be watching the rug rat, and I’ll be doing my first 5k in…2 years? Definitely not going for time, just to finish! Wish me luck! Oh, and if you want to participate, there’s still time to sign up. There are prizes from what I understand, and not just for best times, etc.

What about you? Making the fries this week made me wonder, has anyone tried dehydrating sweet potatoes? Any success?


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Filed under rant, recipes

Isn’t that always the way?

WARNING: Boys, advert your eyes, cause this post mentions some girly gross stuff. It might even have cooties.

I’m totally plugging on in diet lifestyle change land again this week. I’ve been to the work-out-atorium twice, been below my caloric goal each day, found a new blog for inspiration that I’m devouring, and basically having a grand old time. It’s been a bit hard this week since Brad’s had to work late so much. There’s a Big Cahoona coming in for quarterly review mess tomorrow, so it’s all hands on deck at work.

I woke up this morning while Brad was already in the shower, and it was one of those mornings where I woke up, and I just kind of felt thinner. Laughable, at still over 240, I know, but it was just one of those warm and fuzzy moments where my body was telling me that “Hey, you’re doing the right thing. Thanks for feeding me awesome foods and exercising, cause I’m totally digging that.”

I was getting up out of bed all set to say “You’re welcome body, I’m glad that we can work together as a team again,” when BAM. I could totally tell that I had started my period.

You know that feeling..standing up after being in bed…you know what I mean. UGH!

And let me remind my dearest readers that this sensation is not really one that I’m quite accustomed to. Having had PCOS since I was a teenager, I used to only have a lovely visit from nature maybe once a year. And I was ok with that.

Until, you know, finding out that dealing with periods was kind of a thing you HAD to do if you wanted children. But then, it was even better, because I always knew when I was going to have a period, because I was an OCD-cycle-tracking-desperate-to-get-pregnant person.

I’d heard before that after you have a child that sometimes a woman’s body can regulate itself. I didn’t really thing that would happen to me, especially after having gained back so much weight. But I guess it has. Which not only is decidedly inconvenient on the whole being completely surprised thing…but now I’ve got to remember that we can totally get pregnant again…without having to have a bunch of docs involved, etc. That’s awesome…except we are NOT ready to get preggers again so soon!

It may sound VERY silly. But I’ve been married for 13 years, and didn’t have to worry about…um…prevention. Looks like I have some phone calls to make…

So yeah. AT LEAST I know why I’ve been crying at TV commercials and songs for the last few days. Seriously – the TV was set to “Toddler Tunes” yesterday for Reagan, and even reading some of the album titles made me start to cry! (Stay a Baby Forever, I’ll always be Your Mom, etc etc…..oh and don’t EVEN get me started about this song. Jeez!)

Sheesh! All you “normal” womens…I don’t know HOW you do this hormone thing!!! ><

The only other craziness to report is that I had a business lunch today in which lunch was provided. My choices were chopped beef brisket, potato salad, beans and sausage…which giant pieces of fluffy white bread if you wanted to make a sandwich. Oh and a river of BBQ sauce flowed through it.

(I’m in Texas. This is typical.)

I felt obligated to eat it. It was a meeting with a new client for freelance work (building them a website), and they provided lunch. I had a little bit of the beef brisket on bread, and some of the potato salad. After putting the amount I had into MyFitnessPal and overestimating (since I have no idea how this stuff was cooked!), I am guessing I had about 632 calories. It was SO not worth it. The sad thing is that I left about half of the serving of brisket that I took on my plate. Sad as in calories that is. I actually found it very difficult to leave food on the plate (“clean your plate, there’s starving children somewhere!”), so of that I was very proud. But the fact that I wasted over half of what I try to stick to each day on such a measly meal (and greasy, my stomach is NOT happy) is really annoying.

Despite all this, I’m in a pretty good mood, lol!

Question of the Day: What awkward situations have you found yourself in when food is provided? When have you had to force yourself to eat something juts to be nice or save face?


Filed under personal, random, rant, [in]fertility


This week so far is going great for me food-wise. I am able to stay focused on what to eat, what to not eat. The house food isn’t tempting me like it was last week, and getting my water in at work is a breeze (a 2 hour timer on my desktop definitely helps keep me on track!). So as I work and think and read and delve back into this world that I was so familiar with for so long, I keep coming back to one, huge problem.

When/where can I exercise?

Let me explain…when I initially lost my weight in 2011, Brad and I were living in different cities for the sake of careers. I stayed with my brother, but for the first time in my adult life (we married when I was 18), I was a bachelorette. I had no obligations to anyone, and a LOT of free time in a new/old city where I didn’t know many people. Every day I was on task. Wake. Work. Drive Home. Workout. Sleep. Beyond the weekends when Brad and I would see each other, that was it!

Now though…how the heck can I fit in workouts? Brad works late usually 3 out of 5 nights a week, leaving me to care for our 10 month old until he gets home…usually around 8:30 or 9. Then there’s bath-times, feeding time, bedtime…and then a couple of precious hours before we finally fall asleep ourselves, exhausted. So, I have some hard thinking and planning to do.

Our work has trade with a gym here in town, and I also found a membership to the YMCA, which has the town’s only indoor Olympic-sized pool. In 2011 after breaking my foot running, swimming became my thing. I swam in high school, and it became a great workout for me. Now that I’m heavier than I was when I broke my foot, I’m definitely a little worried as far as running goes. Both the gym and the Y have child care services, but I feel awful about picking up my daughter from day care just to take her to ANOTHER day care. Plus, the one night that Brad doesn’t work late and we aren’t usually running around is Thursday, and I enjoy spending our time with Rea together.

I don’t know, I am unsure at what point excuses are valid and when they are simply excuses. I feel that I would be hurting my daughter by taking her from one day care to another, but am I also hurting her by not getting healthier? The time that I would give up spending with Brad would only be temporary, but that’s also time I can spend with Reagan. And she’s!

It’s been suggested that I grab a jogging stroller and take Rea with me, but it’s cold here now. I have a jogging stroller, but I don’t think she’d like it one bit with cold air blowing all over her face. It’s a great option once spring is here.

Of course, there is still one very obvious choice, and one I haven’t even wanted to consider, though it’s been in the back of my mind. Waking up early. Like 5am early. Which I’m sure many of who read this will scoff and laugh and tell me to stop being so lazy – lots of people wake up at 5am. I’ve never been a morning person, to me it is a triumph that I now usually wake up naturally before 8:30am. But to consider waking at 5am, getting dressed and either driving to a gym or walking around the block is horrible. I’m still one to stay up until midnight…believe me I’m also considering working out after 10pm because that would honestly be easier in my mind. I just don’t know what to do here.

Luckily I am focused mainly on food for the immediate future. I knew if I tried to jump into both food and exercise 100% like I tried a few months ago would not go well, so I have a little time to plan. So please, mothers, help me out here? Is there a choice that I’m not considering?


Filed under exercise, I'm a Mom Now..., rant

Feeling Crappy and Crabby

It’s day three on my journey into diet-land, and I’m feeling kinda crappy today…which in turn is making me feel pretty crabby.

I’m peeing every 10 minutes, which gets old. My body is also…getting rid of toxins in the only way it knows how, to put it delicately. I’m shaky, I’m cold, and…I’m about to have to get up and pee again.

(and back.)

On top of that, my throat is feeling scratchy, and I’m praying that I’m not about to get sick.

But, I’m here still, hanging on. Three 32oz servings of water already ingested, and it’s lunch time. I’m not having hardly anything, but that’s ok. I’m not really hungry today, just have that light-headed feeling as my body tries to figure out where all that nice sugary and fried food has gone to.

I really don’t want to be at work, I want to be in bed. I’m like a drug addict coming down and crashing. I know that I’m a bonafide sugar addict, and I’ve spent the last year feeding that addiction and letting it control me…and now that I’ve stopped cold turkey my body is NOT happy with me. Either that or it’s very happy and has a wicked way of showing it. I’m shaky, irritable, freezing (which is very strange, I’ve been running very HOT after being pregnant and having Rea…) and tired. I just want to sleep, and at night I am not sleeping well.

Ugh, I just want this first phase to be OVER! ><

I was catching up today on a blog that I always enjoyed reading back when I was in my weight loss hay day. It stars Mary, and she is honestly one of my biggest inspirations, if for no other reason than the fact that she is open, honest, and candid with her struggles. In one of her posts she talked about the “journey” of weight loss, and other things that life is tossing at her. You hear that so often, almost romanticizing the experience…but her her words resonated with me today.

When I get ahead of myself, I obsess and start to stumble – I do best when I focus on one day at a time. I’m forced to think about the word journey itself, which has French origins. It comes from a medieval word meaning how far you could go in one day. In modern French, there are two ways to say the word day – un jour and une journée. The former is more of a unit, whereas the latter has a subtle nuance that implies duration of time. For example, when saying goodbye to someone, you can say Bonne journée, which is sort of like, hey, enjoy the rest of your day.

It’s Day Three, and I think it’s gonna be my hardest. I’m hoping by tomorrow my body will calm down and start to realize that there is plenty of fat left on me and start eating it instead of screaming at me to eat more of it. My mind is a different story of course, but once my body starts to comply I am thinking that will help.

One day at a time…going to go pee now…

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Filed under mental, rant, sugar addict!

Brain Sabbatical part 2 (Also known as the Brain Returns!)

I blinked and suddenly it’s Wednesday? Craziness!

Work has ramped up a LOT on me lately, so I’m hoping to keep some semblance of regular posting, but I can’t make any promises. It’s very exciting: a project which I am the lead on got green lighted by the big dogs! It’s very awesome, but since they want to do the launch on August 1st it looks like my summer just got crazy. I’m not trying to be cryptic of course, but yes purposely vague. 😉

In other news, my Brain has returned from sabbatical and I am back to following the plan to the letter. I’m over myself and the beating up process. But for my own record and such, here is the short version of what happened last week.

I finally did that thing that I said I wouldn’t do this time around. I started feeling awesome about the progress I’ve made and decided to “reward” myself with food. It was Mother’s Day, I was hanging with my family and they wanted to go to my parents’ favorite Mexican restaurant. Now, I’ve gone with them 1 or 2 times since starting on plan this year, but I’ve been very careful to stick to salad, no chips, etc. Well that night I decided that I deserved chips and salsa. And a meal.

Now going by calories alone, with estimating high, I never went over Phase 5 calories (1200 – I had not hardly eaten anything that day to save up!), but as I’m sure others out there can relate to…this sent me into some sort of downward diet spiral.

The week after that (last week), I was traveling for work where there were several business lunches and dinners. Then, the day I came back there was a funeral for a close family friend. And then Friday…well let’s just say beer and leave it at that.

Two things: 1.) I didn’t gain any weight. I was a little crazy, but I wasn’t stupid either. I ate non-plan foods, but kept tracking the calories as best I could and didn’t really go over the weekly total for Phase 5. Obviously though the foods were definitely not what they were supposed to be. The result was maintainance on my weight, which was not the best but also better than it could have been for sure.

2.) I’m almost glad this happened. It sucked and it was scary at the time, because I know so many times before when I “messed up” that it was over. I’d beat myself up about it, console with food and start the climb back up the scale. It was extremely, extremely hard to get back on track mentally. That one dinner on Sunday sent me into a week long madness it seemed. Now, it was an unusual week because I was out of my routine and had crazy things going on, but still – I have had crazy weeks before this one and did fine, even if I had to improvise.

But, I finally shook off the crazy this weekend, went to the grocery store, and had a nice long chat with myself. As I mentioned on Monday, I am hungry. Seriously – going from mostly liquids on Allan‘s Phase 6 trial, to way too many restaurant meals, and back to liquids? My body has definitely been screaming at me this week. Right now I am hungry for sure. But, I am mentally strong again.

So, work day is almost done. 5.5 bottles of water in, .5 to go + a large tonight. Swimming tonight as well. 🙂

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Filed under Achievement, mental, personal, Phase 6, rant, water


I’m trying to stay shiny and happy, but I’m definitely feeling broody and anxious about diet-land right about now.

I was thrilled at the loss last week on Phase 6, I did awesome. I survived a “dinner” with my parents (in which I watched them eat and stood my ground explaining why I was not). I survived the weekend with Bradley, who loosely sticks to the plan but is more focused on school than anything, and is still losing weight at a pace he enjoys.

And then there was yesterday.

Brad’s scale is notoriously nicer than my scale – in so much that it usually is 1-2 pounds lighter than mine. So, when reporting my weight last weekend I kept that in mind, having weighed myself on my scale a day before, I averaged. And I was thrilled that they were playing nicely with each other. I stayed on plan and was content.

Until yesterday, when I weighed in (yes, I cheat and weigh almost daily now, sue me). And my scale decided to be especially evil. And I’m talking like – insane difference. Like 5+ pounds difference. Not just different from Brad’s, but different from what it was telling me itself last week.

I’m not usually one to let the numbers bother me too much, I know weight fluctuates, I know water retention fluctuates. But seriously??

And then of course, I started looking at my old TTC sites yesterday (TTC = Trying to Conceive, for the initiated). I started daydreaming about pregnancies and babies…….which inevitably leads me to think about miscarriages and false hopes. Not consciously I guess, but by the time I got home and was standing looking at my swimsuit, I was in a horrible mood. It didn’t take much to talk myself out of going.

I need to work on that still.

All that to say, I skipped swimming last night, and I ingested more than I should have. Not that there’s really much cheating you can do on Phase 6, thank goodness. But I was craving things, oh yes. Luckily I was able to talk myself off of ledges, but I am still craving things today…comfort I suppose. I dunno.

I weighed myself again this morning, scale is still giving me the big fat middle finger. So, I don’t know if it’s water retention or what – I swear there’s hardly anything else in me to be retained!!!

I’ve been battling with being moody all morning, and feeling like I’ve taken giant steps backyard. I know that it’s not true – heck, even if my scale is being accurate, I still weigh less than I ever remember in my adult life. I guess it’s just hard not to feel defeated at it. And I know I’m being whiny, and a girl but hell, I DO have a vagina, it’s just going to happen. Right now I’m just trying to process this objectively and convince myself that all this work isn’t for nothing.

So, swimming tonight, staying away from pregnancy sites, and putting the scale away for a couple of days. I may not have a loss this week, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let numbers and my own stupid broody brain to crack me any more this week.



Filed under mental, personal, rant, [in]fertility

The Dark Passenger Shows Her Ugly Face

So, yeah, my disclaimer for this post: This is written through a haze of raging female hormones that are making my “Dark Passenger” show her worst this week. So, please know that here in a few days when all the hormones subside, this week will seem like 80% less awful than it does right now.

So, this week has been so much crap! It seems like every day something has gone wrong for me – and dealing with this stupid stupid hormone crap on top of it is making me either scream at people for no good reason, or cry like a 2 year old.

First, last week I discovered an error I had made at work. I don’t want to go into details, it’s not a big deal in the end, but my boss decided that after he had previously told me not to worry about it, that he needed to come back on Monday morning and kick me in the proverbial nuts. Now, I have a great boss overall, as long as you can anticipate his moods. He just sometimes says things, and you have to know that he’s just talking. Well, he apparently had worked himself up about something else, and took out his frustration on me by calling me up and telling me that this error was HUGE and that “you know it’s your fault, right?”

Well, what else could I say besides “yes sir, I do.” I mean, I did, I had told him what I had done the second I realized it. Again, all is fine now, and I still think I have a good boss compared to what I’ve had before, and he’s apologized since then.

BUT, at that moment in time, the first thing Monday morning…after hanging up the phone I ran to the bathroom because I knew I was losing my composure. I had to go and have myself a good cry in the stall. The sad thing is, I’ve recently started wearing mascara. I never was really a big mascara person, but I guess with the weight loss I’ve been spending a little more time getting prettiefied in the mornings. So, yeah. I had my first ever cry-off-mascara moment. It’s not very pretty.

That was the start of my week. Since then it’s been working with my team to re-work things to correct the error (we are a little over halfway done, so all is well!).

Tuesday was ok – still lost of residual crap going on at work, but I managed to be ok.

Yesterday it was time to start yelling at Brad apparently. Brad is in school, as I’ve mentioned, 150 miles away. He will graduate in December, move back here with me, and all will be well as far as feeling like a family again. In the meantime, I was looking forward to the summer, where Brad would be here for the month of June and July. Well, he’s also been working on an extra project, where he would be teaching a class in May – it looks great on his attempt to get into Grad school, he’ll get paid, and he’s uber excited about it. I was excited for him.

That is until yesterday he mention all causal-like that the class now goes through the end of June.

I lost it on him there. I was very upset, I was upset that we lose a month, and upset that apparently his excitement of teaching the class made him forget to be disappointed that he wouldn’t be here for June. Irrational? Yes. Did I care? Not so much.

Of course “normal” ladies with “normal” hormone insanity will think this is all “normal.” But as I’ve mentioned, I’ve never really had to deal with PMS, since my cycles were all screwed up, and it seems that post-miscarriage, the hormones I take to regulate this lovely process effect me even more than they did before. Brad and I are trying to deal with this 3rd person in our marriage – this Dark Passenger who is kinda evil.

So, I apologized to Brad, he apologized for being a guy….and then we repeated the whole process later that night when something else he said made me go crazy again.

I told Brad – it’s like as this is happening I’m watching myself in the third person and seeing how crazy I’m acting, but not being able to stop it.

So today. Today I woke up hopeful for a normal day (and praying to big G that my freaking period would just get here already and release all this hormonal bs!)…I make it out the door for work, drive about 2 miles, and my brother calls. Apparently my mother is in the hospital. Again.

As far as I can tell right now, all is OK. Apparently my mother doesn’t understand when the docs are telling her to eat a bland diet. After a couple of days of feeling better, she starts eating things that set off her myriad of things that she’s got going on in her colon. So, she woke up in the middle of the night throwing up, and finally my dad called an ambulance this morning. I think that’s the part that scared me the most, that they called an actual ambulance instead of driving.

But, I’ve talked to my dad and it seems she’s doing OK. They are running tests and hydrating…sounds like they will just need to smack her down about her eating.


I really am not a dramatic person. I don’t revel in being surrounded by drama. All of this craziness is making me go…well…crazy.

If ever there was a week to cheat on this diet, it was this one. I didn’t.

If ever there was a week to have an excuse not to exercise it’s this one. I didn’t give in, swimming for the 3rd time this week tonight.

Technically I cheated last night – I was so mad at Brad after finding out he wouldn’t be here in June that I had 2 cups of unscheduled broccoli. Ha! How’s crazy is that? I cheated with broccoli.

Yeesh. Ok, now that I’ve verbally vomited all over the place, I’m getting back to work.

I DO have one shameless plug for this week, my good friend at work has a band, and I’m helping him put together new graphic materials for their Facebook page. You should check them out, if for no other reason than to look at my pretty graphics! Of course if you “like” their page as well, I’m sure they would appreciate it.  😉

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Filed under Achievement, exercise, mental, personal, rant, [in]fertility

How to Women Do All This PMS Crap?

So I’m back on the Provera this week, trying to induce another lovely time of the month. (For those that are new, I have PCOS and don’t have regular cycles. Trying to have a baby someday, so gotta keep an eye on this crap.)

As I may have mentioned before, Provera is a form of progesterone. Before AF (Aunt Flo for the uninitiated, or those with penises) shows up to town, a woman’s body has a surge of this hormone, signaling to the body that “hey, no baby-daddy came and knocked up that egg we dropped, so time to flush the system.” Since I have PCOS, that little miracle doesn’t happen (I don’t drop eggs unless chemically induced to do so, but that’s another story) so I get to throw down a pill for 10 days to create this surge. AF shows up within 2 weeks afterward.

So what I’ve figured out is that I’m basically volunteering to give myself PMS.


(how do you “normal” women-peeps do this without
starting a world war or become serial killers!?)

Since I started up on the Provera this time around, I’ve become a raging maniac. I’ve been snappy at work, snappy with Brad, snappy with mentally beating myself up. Grrr. And as a woman who gladly took on the PCOS and the awesome lack-of-monthly-cycle that came with it, all of this PMS crap is really foreign to me.

It was even more foreign to Brad, having been married to a non-PMS having woman for a decade. 😉

So, apparently if you want to have a baby in this world, you have to run around like a mental patient for some time before that (not to mention how insane you can become WHILE pregnant). It’s strange, because I’ve taken Provera off and on for years during our lovely trying to have a baby journey…but I don’t think the PMS symptoms were as bad as they’ve been the 2 rounds this year.

Maybe it’s cause I’m losing weight, and my body’s natural hormones are getting aligned, which serve to augment the PMS monster. I hope that’s what it is, but for my sanity’s sake I hope I don’t end up punching someone before the day is done! ><

At least Brad is safe from physical harm, he’s 150 miles away…

Ok, enough of my mental state. Just had to rant out there to the internet bits and bytes. How about a photo instead?

My Keyboard at work, edited with Instagram

For anyone who enjoys photography, or iPhoneography, the app I used to create the photo above is called Instagram. It’s a nifty app that lets you snap a photo, do some simple editing, the post straight to Facebook, Twitter, and Foursquare. I’ve got a few of these rattleling around in my phone, this is my latest one to play with.

Any other photography bugs out there with good app suggestions (preferably free, lol)? Let me know!

Off to go contain the PMS monster inside me, 2 bottle of water in, 4 to go at work.


Filed under mental, random, rant, water, [in]fertility

We’ve Got the Funk

Yesterday I was just in a funky mood. I have no idea what was up with me. Tuesday I had no energy to workout. Today I think I see a light at the tunnel.

48 hours or so of funk, I don’t know what it is. I would love to say it’s some sort of PMS, but I’d have to have normal cycles for that. I guess it could be feux-PMS? Who know…

So, last night I was supposed to go swimming and bailed. I think I fell asleep a few minutes after getting home from work. I didn’t sleep long, but laid there dozing for a good while afterward. After that I drug my butt up for long enough to make some dinner – healthy, thank God, because I was craving a thousand different evil things by that point – and then drudge back to bed.

I think part of it is work – feeling a bit overwhelmed, part of it is this stupid boot – I have a feeling that my weight loss is going to stay slow/stalled until I can run again, part of it is the tiny voice in the back of my mind telling me to start thinking about babies again, and part of it was missing Brad – going two weeks between our minuscule weekend visits sucks, and the last few days before a visit seem to be the hardest.

So, knowing all this mess, I tried to wake up today with a better attitude – and I have no excuses not to go swim tonight, I have to do SOMETHING! ><

Only 3.5 hours left to go at work – 4 bottles of water in, 2 to go, and I’m making some afternoon coffee cause I NEEDS it! 😛

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Filed under mental, random, rant, water, [in]fertility


This is my foot:



das boot!

Yep, I was right. Unfortunately. I have a metatarsal stress fracture on my right foot. Fun times.

I have to wear a boot at all times…except for sleeping and driving…and showering I guess.


I know it’s not horrible, and luckily there is no pain really (which is why I waited so long to go to a doctor in the first place), but I’m really really pissed that I can’t do any freaking running or jogging. Even the DVD’s, how can I do those in a boot? I know that there are other things I can do, like weights and situps and pushups, etc…but the full body cardio?

I am stuck with swimming and biking. I DID actually go and buy a swimsuit last night because I already knew what the doc was going to say. So I have that. And my dear brother wanted to support me in my weight loss, so he chipped in and bought goggles and a swim cap for me. Now all I have to do is work up the nerve to go to the natatorium and do it. I haven’t done lane swimming since I was a freshman in college…

That’s 12 years for those out there counting…

Plus the fact that I don’t look at all svelte in a swimsuit…a speedo swimsuit even…not one of those girly numbers with the little skirts to hide the thighs that thunder.I have a feeling I’ll be wearing biking shorts underneath the suit for a while…

freaking awesome cap and goggles my bro bought for me! 😀

As for biking, I can in no way afford a stationary (or non-stationary) bike right now…perusing CraigsList seems to show that there are peeps out there willing to trade for other items…I have a few inquiries out, so we’ll see where that goes.

So, yes, I’m being a bit bitchy, but I told co-workers and family that I am at least allowed to be bitchy about this for 24 hours. Then you can tell me to be quiet.

Stupid stupid stupid…grrr!

3 bottles of water in, 3 to go, plus 2 large.


Filed under exercise, mental, rant, water