Category Archives: random

Squats + Wall Sit = PAIN!

So, back in the land of 2011 when I was a workout machine and not pregnant yet, I did lots of squats. I use the 200 Squats app and I really enjoyed it! I was up to week 6 when I stopped, which is the last week of the program…so I was a squatting fool! So on Tuesday while I was single-momming it as Brad worked late and was watching The Biggest Loser, what did I decide to do?

Hell yeah, let’s do some squats!

And did I start back at week one like a smart person? Nope. I decided I’d be all bad ass about it and start at Week 3. Week 3 includes 62 squats divided out across 5 sets…so that’s like 10-12 squats per set. That didn’t sound bad at all.

And now today, for the second day in a row, I am walking around stiff-legged like my toddler and screaming when I sit down to use the toilet from the knife-twisting pain in my thighs. My husband finds this amusing, and me, not so much…

Add on to that the fact that I decided to do a Wall Sit…and made it about 19.6 seconds before having to give up. And now I am in SO MUCH PAIN.

Food it good, water is good…pain is HORRID.

I’m off to find more Tylenol…

(And yes, I’m damn proud of the pain and will be doing squats again as soon as I can stand it!) πŸ˜›

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Not Created Equal

This weekend was awesome! Brad and I took our little trip to the Metroplex, and we had a great time! We were able to see the Titanic Exhibit, which was pretty cool, though we were both just slightly disappointed…Well, not dissapointed I guess, but we just thought it was going to be a little “more.” We also spent the entire day Saturday walking and exploring the rest of the museum, and it was great!

light brite

Brad and Rea on a giant light brite!

This bow stayed on her head for about 2.5 seconds at a time...

This bow stayed on her head for about 2.5 seconds at a time…

The hotel was great, and it was just nice to have a weekend where we were just doing stuff that WE wanted to do!

I also tried a bit of an experiment this weekend, and was half surprised, half not by the results. This time around on the old diet train, I am working on trying to prepare myself more mentally for the “after.” When I lost so much in 2011, I was focused, focused, focused on losing the weight and FAST. My goal was to get preggo. Once I did, I went slightly insane in the eating department. This time around I am trying to be mindful of what I’ll do when I reach the goal. I’ve read so many blogs about people who lose the weight only to start gaining it back because they just weren’t ready to be at goal. Or what if I get pregnant again on the way down? I can’t just decide that that’s a free buffet ticket again.

So, this weekend, I continued counting calories, and continued to stay under my daily limit, but I didn’t necessarily pay as much attention as to where those calories came from. I ate whatever the people I was with were eating, as long as I didn’t go over my limit.

And of course, not only did I not eat nearly as much in quantity, but my body was definitely very unhappy with the quality. And the scale this morning reflected as much. And overall week-to-week loss still, but depressing in the measly amount! It’s almost comical that I ate hardly as much in quantity compared to “good” foods, so not only was I unsatisfied overall, but my body gave me the old fat finger as a reward. This is why plans like Weight Watches are so frustrating. Sure, I’d eventually lose weight, but infinitely slower and I would learn nothing.

So, the moral of the story is that calories are NOT created equal. Which, really, duh.

And now...Dinosaur!

And now…Dinosaur!

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Isn’t that always the way?

WARNING: Boys, advert your eyes, cause this post mentions some girly gross stuff. It might even have cooties.

I’m totally plugging on in diet lifestyle change land again this week. I’ve been to the work-out-atorium twice, been below my caloric goal each day, found a new blog for inspiration that I’m devouring, and basically having a grand old time. It’s been a bit hard this week since Brad’s had to work late so much. There’s a Big Cahoona coming in for quarterly review mess tomorrow, so it’s all hands on deck at work.

I woke up this morning while Brad was already in the shower, and it was one of those mornings where I woke up, and I just kind of felt thinner. Laughable, at still over 240, I know, but it was just one of those warm and fuzzy moments where my body was telling me that “Hey, you’re doing the right thing. Thanks for feeding me awesome foods and exercising, cause I’m totally digging that.”

I was getting up out of bed all set to say “You’re welcome body, I’m glad that we can work together as a team again,” when BAM. I could totally tell that I had started my period.

You know that feeling..standing up after being in bed…you know what I mean. UGH!

And let me remind my dearest readers that this sensation is not really one that I’m quite accustomed to. Having had PCOS since I was a teenager, I used to only have a lovely visit from nature maybe once a year. And I was ok with that.

Until, you know, finding out that dealing with periods was kind of a thing you HAD to do if you wanted children. But then, it was even better, because I always knew when I was going to have a period, because I was an OCD-cycle-tracking-desperate-to-get-pregnant person.

I’d heard before that after you have a child that sometimes a woman’s body can regulate itself. I didn’t really thing that would happen to me, especially after having gained back so much weight. But I guess it has. Which not only is decidedly inconvenient on the whole being completely surprised thing…but now I’ve got to remember that we can totally get pregnant again…without having to have a bunch of docs involved, etc. That’s awesome…except we are NOT ready to get preggers again so soon!

It may sound VERY silly. But I’ve been married for 13 years, and didn’t have to worry about…um…prevention. Looks like I have some phone calls to make…

So yeah. AT LEAST I know why I’ve been crying at TV commercials and songs for the last few days. Seriously – the TV was set to “Toddler Tunes” yesterday for Reagan, and even reading some of the album titles made me start to cry! (Stay a Baby Forever, I’ll always be Your Mom, etc etc…..oh and don’t EVEN get me started about this song. Jeez!)

Sheesh! All you “normal” womens…I don’t know HOW you do this hormone thing!!! ><

The only other craziness to report is that I had a business lunch today in which lunch was provided. My choices were chopped beef brisket, potato salad, beans and sausage…which giant pieces of fluffy white bread if you wanted to make a sandwich. Oh and a river of BBQ sauce flowed through it.

(I’m in Texas. This is typical.)

I felt obligated to eat it. It was a meeting with a new client for freelance work (building them a website), and they provided lunch. I had a little bit of the beef brisket on bread, and some of the potato salad. After putting the amount I had into MyFitnessPal and overestimating (since I have no idea how this stuff was cooked!), I am guessing I had about 632 calories. It was SO not worth it. The sad thing is that I left about half of the serving of brisket that I took on my plate. Sad as in calories that is. I actually found it very difficult to leave food on the plate (“clean your plate, there’s starving children somewhere!”), so of that I was very proud. But the fact that I wasted over half of what I try to stick to each day on such a measly meal (and greasy, my stomach is NOT happy) is really annoying.

Despite all this, I’m in a pretty good mood, lol!

Question of the Day: What awkward situations have you found yourself in when food is provided? When have you had to force yourself to eat something juts to be nice or save face?

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But I’m Not Dead Yet…

Ok, all Monty Python references aside, I am crawling back to my keyboard today after a tough week. Not only was work insane this week, but in the middle of all the fun (in other words on Tuesday night), my body decided it was time to shut down with a lovely bout of the dreaded summer cold/allergy attack.

It is my opinion that there is nothing worse than a summer cold. Especially in Texas where let’s see…we had an awesome 111 degree day yesterday? That’s not a typo – one-hundred ELEVEN degrees. Yeesh.

So, I basically slept for two days straight, which seems to be the MO with my allergies these days. The system just shuts down and forces me to shut down with it. Somewhere in there I DID actually show up for work on Wednesday and run two conference calls…which I don’t really remember much of but apparently I did well. I guess that’s the cure for anxiety about speaking…be too tired to care what actually comes out of your mouth. In between I had a pillow in my office and the door closed. Thank goodness for great co-workers who totally covered for me.

I started coming out of my funk sometime on Thursday I believe, but had to run around 90-to-nothing to get everything else done for the week. I think I mentioned this before, but I think this is going to be a long summer… ><

On the diet/exercise front – the “good” thing about being sick is that I definitely don’t have the desire to eat anything – good OR bad. Chicken broth was right up my alley this week, not only is it a good source of taste on a low-cal diet, but also soothes a sore throat really well. All of that to say that I have lost more than I had thought I would so far this week, since all I’ve really done is lay on my butt, but I’ll take it and run!

I did get in swimming on Monday night before I got sick, but that’s been all this week. I know not to push it just yet. I went from marveling on Monday on how easy it was to walk up a flight of stairs, to huffing and puffing the next day because it’s hard to take a deep breath without coughing right now.

I made my way to Abilene this weekend to hang out with Brad, who is also battling the same symptoms as me, we’ve been perfect bums – me reading blogs, him working on some school something or other. We may go out shopping later as I think I’m finally going to have to wave the white flag and buy some new bras…60 pounds gone definitely makes the even my smallest sized old bras start to…er, droop I suppose. πŸ˜›

So. As of today I am 3 pounds away from One-derland. At this point it’s almost surreal and impossible to think about. I see the numbers on the scale, and I’m already lighter than I’ve ever been in my adult life, but I guess it’s not hitting me yet. I’m almost avoiding letting it hit me I suppose for fear that I would lose my focus and stop. I don’t think I would let that happen, I’ve come too far, but I guess until this new set of numbers stick around for a while I won’t really dwell on it. That’s kind of how I’ve dealt with my achievements this time around. I’ll wait about two weeks to make sure it’s not a fluke of the scale or my body before I’ll start to really acknowledge my milestones.

That being said, I have yet to decide on a “prize” for going beneath 200 pounds. Of course nothing food related. Right now I’m thinking either something simple like a new bathing suit for swimming (which, even though the foot is healed, I enjoy swimming so much that I definitely plan on keeping that activity around…and besides…111 degrees!!!), or maybe a bike – but I’ve never been a big biker and don’t know if I would use it enough to justify the cost (and 111 degrees!!!), or maybe something totally girly like new clothes or…a new seatbelt bag. I’ve had two of these over the last 3 years and I love them. Seriously, if you’re a woman and you are mean to your purse like I am (as in, I beat the crap out of them and they don’t last long), this is the perfect thing – they are quirky and fun and I’ve had my last one for almost 2 years and it still looks brand new. You cannot hurt these thing I think unless you set them on fire or something. But I’m also a cheap-o and I don’t know if I could justify spending that much on a purse right now…

And of course while writing this post I just found this…which matches my purse and may have a siren song too strong to resist…

Any other suggestions out there for a good One-derland prize? πŸ˜‰

Oh and by the way, thank you so much to the ladies who answered my last blog post about clothing sizes and such – it was so interesting that all the comments I received were from ladies my same height. I’m 5’6″ as well. πŸ˜‰ Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks – I haven’t had time again yet to go out and explore some more “normal” stores – hoping to get a chance sometime this week! πŸ™‚

Anyway, that’ s my update, I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

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Friday Wrap-Up

It’s Friday! And I’m in a weird mood, of course, lol!

Weight is doing better, I’m basically back to where I was at the end of last week, so I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I’m satisfied with at least getting back to where I was. I’ve still been going on Phase 6 steadily.

The weird mood comes from other areas – fighting the constant urge to obsess over fertility and the what if’s and charting and all the madness that it can bring. I keep having to remind myself that Brad and I aren’t even actively “trying” (meaning, I’m not on fertility drugs right now), so my chances of everything actually working on its own are slim.

And that’s ok. I don’t believe that 100% yet, but it is.

Also been spending a lot of time thinking about work, and talking with a close co-worker friend about the whole “what do you want to do?” As in, where do I want to go from here, eventually? And of course I have no answer. I mean, if money were no object, I think I’d be content to stay where I am – it’s safe, familiar, and I am confident in my abilities. But if I choose to say that money is an issue, then it’s something to think about.

I don’t care for thinking of it, I’m notoriously adverse to change, so I’m avoiding right now.

I miss Brad this week – he’s got finals next week so we’ve hardly been able to talk at all because he’s been constantly studying. I’ll see him a little next week, as I’m traveling to a nearby station to do some training for them, and then he’ll come back to visit here a week from this weekend. But today I miss him a lot.

I’m not depressed, or sad per se, but I guess I’m just kind of melancholy today. Reflective. Ha, I guess you could just call it moody. πŸ˜‰

But it’s Friday – and maybe a weekend will do me good. Going for another 3 mile swim attempt tomorrow. I’ve decided that I probably won’t be able to jog for a while still, because my foot is still pretty sore when I walk for a while on it. I’m pricing bikes. πŸ˜‰

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TGIF!

It is a beautiful Friday outside my office window today. I don’t have Good Friday off, but I must say that coming to work on a holiday isn’t horrible. My drive time went from 45 min+ to about 20 minutes, so that’s lovely!

AF is packing her bags and headed out of town finally. It’s been hard on me this week exercise wise, but the food is on track, so I’m feeling pretty good about this week over all.

So, as this journey has been progressing I’ve taken some progress photos. This morning I was brave enough to import them into Photoshop and place them side by side. There is definitely some progression happening, but I’m sorry to say I’m still too chicken to post them for the world to see. I know that’s silly, as what better forum to put them in than this…but give me another month or so and I think I’ll be there. πŸ˜‰

But, all that to say, there is progress happening here, and I am excited to see it. I am so close to being under 200 for the first time that I can remember, and I WANT IT!

No great and fabulous plans for the weekend – Brad and I are staying in our mutual cities this weekend (my mom being in the hospital kind of threw off our schedule), so my plans consist of swimming tomorrow morning, working on a freelance project (finally heard back, I’ve got the job!), and probably going to church with the Olds (my parents) on Sunday. Pretty relaxed and groovy, but that also makes it easy to stick to the plan! Thank goodness for that.

I hope everyone has a great weekend – any fun plans?

2 bottles of water in – 4 to go at work, 2 at home.

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Cramps ><

WARNING: for those of you with boy-parts, this post may be classified as TMI.Β  πŸ˜‰

Staying Positive this Week!

Well, despite the fact that the lovely time of the month has finally started, I’m feeling pretty good. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it before on here, but ever since my miscarriage, each time AF (Aunt Flo) shows up, the cramps are much worse than they used to be. As I’ve talked about all the craziness that taking the progesterone entails, this is the last remnant of the crazy. Hopefully after this week I’ll be back to my own brand of normal.

But, I have me some strong drugs for the pain, so it’s mostly a dull roar throughout the day. Last night I hugged a pillow and a heating pad, and with the help of some Tylenol PM, it wasn’t too bad.

I did go swimming on Monday, since everything hadn’t really, er, gotten going by then. I must say that if you are having horrid cramps, and sore ta-tas from all this mess – swimming is pure heaven. Once I got in all the pain just simply stopped. I think if I could I would just stay in the pool for a whole week, lol!

I will say that I always thought any bloating would be going on BEFORE this lovely time, but it seems for me that it’s happening during. Nothing horrible, but the scale isn’t really moving in either direction – which is fine, after such a big weight loss (for me) last week, I’ll gladly take a week where not much happens, as long as it doesn’t go UP. I’m sure once this mess is over with things will start to move again.

Ok, if you haven’t been properly scandalized by now, I salute you!

But anyway, there’s really nothing else new to report. Besides feeling like someone is constantly punching me in the lower back, I’m actually in a pretty good mood! πŸ˜‰

3 hours left in the work day – 3 bottles of water in, 3 to go.

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Mobile Blog: Visiting Mom at the Hospital

Just a quick mobile update today. Brad made it in last night and I’m so happy to have him here!

Mom is doing great, her obstruction in her intestinal track seems to have resolved, and they are just observing her a bit more, looks like she’ll be back home tomorrow or Monday. She is sleeping, and Brad and I are just hanging out in her room, giving my dad a much needed break. It’s nice and quiet here, and I’m fighting the urge to fall asleep myself!

Brad and have been talking a lot about mental perceptions today. As a psych major, I don’t think he can help himself. As I struggle with my inner voices that may insult me with regards to losing weight, I was fascinated to hear that he has the same issues with regards to graduating, and making it in to a graduate school – and he’s making straight A’s!

We were talking about Mary’s blog again this morning (sorry, I can’t add links from my phone! Her blog is in my blogroll list, called “a small loss”), and about what happened to her last weekend and the results (I’ll add links later, and Mary if that makes you uncomfortable tell me and I’ll take it down!). I told Brad that I considered myself lucky, because I can only remember 2, maybe 3 instances when someone actually called me fat to my face. I don’t know if I was just unobservant, or perhaps just lucky.

After I said that, Brad asked me “But how many times have you been called fat? Altogether?”

I of course I had to say countless times – because I’ve called myself that over and over.

It’s so interesting, maybe a little sad, how much of this is mental, and self-inflicted. Brad could go on (and believe me, he has talked my ear off, lol!) and much more eloquently than I can. Maybe someday I can too. But it’s amazing the further into this journey I travel, the more layers I discover.

I hope everyone has a great Saturday! πŸ™‚

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1600 meters = 1 mile

So, I’m sure I’ve ranted about this on here enough, but I’m still mad at this dumb boot that I to wear on my stress fractured foot. I’ve been doing the swimming though, and I do love it and all the fun high school memories it conjures up.

I was starting to get discouraged at the thought that I might not be able to meet my 365 miles in 365 day goal for the year. But, I figured that my qualifier for the goal was to “walk/jog/crawl” a mile, that swimming a mile would surely count. And since 1 mile =1,609.34 meters, I was happy to find that I’ve actually been swimming a little over 1 mile each time I visit the pool. Yay me! I’ve only been able to add 5 miles to my total with it, but hey, every little bit counts. I can’t wait until I get this boot off (April 29th!), so that I can start walking again at least.

My moodiness is surviving in check today. I’ve not tried to kill or punch anyone yet, so all good there. So that’s my quickie Wednesday update! Hope your hump day is going well. πŸ˜‰

3 bottles of water in, 3 to go + two big bottles at home.

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How to Women Do All This PMS Crap?

So I’m back on the Provera this week, trying to induce another lovely time of the month. (For those that are new, I have PCOS and don’t have regular cycles. Trying to have a baby someday, so gotta keep an eye on this crap.)

As I may have mentioned before, Provera is a form of progesterone. Before AF (Aunt Flo for the uninitiated, or those with penises) shows up to town, a woman’s body has a surge of this hormone, signaling to the body that “hey, no baby-daddy came and knocked up that egg we dropped, so time to flush the system.” Since I have PCOS, that little miracle doesn’t happen (I don’t drop eggs unless chemically induced to do so, but that’s another story) so I get to throw down a pill for 10 days to create this surge. AF shows up within 2 weeks afterward.

So what I’ve figured out is that I’m basically volunteering to give myself PMS.

Seriously!?!?

(how do you “normal” women-peeps do this without
starting a world war or become serial killers!?)

Since I started up on the Provera this time around, I’ve become a raging maniac. I’ve been snappy at work, snappy with Brad, snappy with mentally beating myself up. Grrr. And as a woman who gladly took on the PCOS and the awesome lack-of-monthly-cycle that came with it, all of this PMS crap is really foreign to me.

It was even more foreign to Brad, having been married to a non-PMS having woman for a decade. πŸ˜‰

So, apparently if you want to have a baby in this world, you have to run around like a mental patient for some time before that (not to mention how insane you can become WHILE pregnant). It’s strange, because I’ve taken Provera off and on for years during our lovely trying to have a baby journey…but I don’t think the PMS symptoms were as bad as they’ve been the 2 rounds this year.

Maybe it’s cause I’m losing weight, and my body’s natural hormones are getting aligned, which serve to augment the PMS monster. I hope that’s what it is, but for my sanity’s sake I hope I don’t end up punching someone before the day is done! ><

At least Brad is safe from physical harm, he’s 150 miles away…

Ok, enough of my mental state. Just had to rant out there to the internet bits and bytes. How about a photo instead?

My Keyboard at work, edited with Instagram

For anyone who enjoys photography, or iPhoneography, the app I used to create the photo above is called Instagram. It’s a nifty app that lets you snap a photo, do some simple editing, the post straight to Facebook, Twitter, and Foursquare. I’ve got a few of these rattleling around in my phone, this is my latest one to play with.

Any other photography bugs out there with good app suggestions (preferably free, lol)? Let me know!

Off to go contain the PMS monster inside me, 2 bottle of water in, 4 to go at work.

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