Category Archives: food porn

Food Porn Friday

Today, I’m thinking of something that is evil, and I want it.

Drippy cheese pizza is the best…I’m salivating just LOOKING at it.

Can’t have it. Not now. I’m not saying NEVER…but not for a while.

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Triggers

It’s strange, because I’ve never really been one to say that I have triggers. I mean, nothing so far has caused me to go completely insane while on the plans, challenges, whatever you want to call it.

I think the only thing that I’ve ever splurged on has been wine or beer once or twice. Light beer. πŸ˜‰

But I will admit that I’m very aware of smells and sights with regards to food, moreso than ever, but nothing had yet sent a “trigger” into my mind.

And then I walked into the breakroom today. I smelled the most delicious, lovely, and dare I say triggering smell. The second I smelled it, it took me to years and years of fatty comfort. There was no sight to match the smell, but I knew what had been in there.

It was cinnamony, and buttery, and bread…y. I could swear that I was in a room that had created a fresh batch of cinnamon toast. And cinnamon toast and I have a history…

Used to when I would come home from school and want a snack, or I was depressed and wanted a snack, or was shaky from going too long without eating, or drinking too much caffeine in my thousand daily sodas – there was cinnamon toast.

cue the flashback sound fx here…

Not 1 or 2 pieces for me. No, 6 pieces were usually the norm. Not a tiny smattering a butter, but a slathery buttered up piece was considered perfect. I would do that part in secret, because 1 time my brother made fun of me for how much butter I put on my toast. After that I would usually make the toast as fast as possible to make sure that no one could see how much I put on there – or wait until the kitchen was clear.

I had it timed perfectly, oven warming up with the broiler on as I prepared the toast – and a pot of water heating up, because seriously, what is cinnamon toast without some cream of wheat (2 packets, please, with lots of butter and sugar). I slathered the pieces in butter, doused with sugar, and then of course, the cinnamon. Into the oven. 5-8 minutes later, water is boiling and toast comes out. Prepare the cream of wheat, then grab a plate. And here is the neurotic part: I would stack the pieces of toast on the plate – putting the most buttery, crunchy sugar-fied, beautiful piece on the bottom, and then stack the pieces on top of that one in order with the next best piece following, all the way until I got to the so-so piece to eat first – because as we all know,Β  you must SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST.

Eating the cinnamon toast and cream of wheat was an art form – using the sugary cream of wheat as a dip was a great way to eat the crusts. I would eat it all. And I would be “happy/feel better/less sad/less bored” because eating horrible foods is always a great way to cover up what’s really bothering you…

I continued this ritual, less frequently, through college, marriage…heck I can think of a couple of stressful days last year where I did this…

…end flashback…

All of that – that whole thing flashed through my mind when I walked into the breakroom today. I stood in there (alone thank God) for a good 30 seconds and inhaled. I hadn’t thought about cinnamon toast in what, 4 months? For 4 months I haven’t turned to food for comfort, celebration, love, acceptance – it’s a great feeling. But oh my gosh for those 30 seconds I remembered and missed and mourned the days of cinnamon toast and cream of wheat. And I think I finally glimpsed the smallest understanding of triggers…

And then I grabbed my last 2 bottles of water that I need to drink today at work and left the breakroom, and the wants, behind…

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Friday. Nuff Said.

I’m very happy for Friday today. Today has been filled with work drama…not all to do with me, so good for that. Let’s just say I find it almost fascinating how a hallway that is 90% men can be so drama filled! Yeesh!

So, I’m counting down the hours to home-time.

Anywho, nothing much new to report. 5 bottles of water in, 1 to go. I am starting to finish my 6 bottles of water earlier in the day, and actually had 7 here yesterday before 2 big bottles at home. I did write to Allan a while back to see if drinking more than the fluid requirement was OK, and he said yes so should be all good.

I shared my old water checklist a month ago or so, here is my new one…I just dedicated a tablet to it. Here are the last 4 weeks of water consumption at work:

Can you tell I'm bored at work today...I don't know why I think the world will be interested in my water list, lol! O.o

And also, I recieved these photos of food porn from my brother today. He apparently finds the thought of food porn hilarious.

Chocolate Glazed Honey Bun! I was in LOVE with honey buns as a child. I would have probably been content with those for breakfast lunch and dinner. I rarely was able to have them, but you better believe when I was older and in college I made up for that! Not just with honey buns either.

My brother did point out that he was not eating the honey bun, a co-worker was. There you have it...that's half of my daily calorie allowance in one stinkin' honey bun! More than half of which come from pure, glazy, sugary (yummy!) fat. πŸ˜‰

Happy Friday all, enjoy your daily allotment of food porn, stay strong, drink the water!

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Exciting New Food Porn

Oh yes, the food porn continues to come at me from all angles!

There is apparently a new "mini" version of these beautiful frosted sugar cookie thangs* that grocery stores like to tempt me with. They are so cute! I want to shove 10 of them in my mouth. Oh and that creepy guy is my brother. I'm sure he'll like being associated with the word porn.

Today's latest temptation in the break room at work. This is something called a King Cake. I had never heard of it before, but quickly deduced from the beads that it must be some sort of Mardi Gras thing. This particular cake is a cinnamon flavored dense coffee cake porn star. It smelled like sin and I wanted some. With Butter. Heated in the microwave. Maybe with coffee. Like the really evil coffee. Like White Chocolate Mocha coffee. I better stop now before I cry, lol!

But then suddenly I saw this naked plastic baby and felt dirty for looking at the cake. Or confused.

Apparently King Cakes are traditionally made with plastic ceramic babies in them…and/or a bean? It’s all very confusing. Luckily I didn’t have to stay confused for long, since I couldn’t have any of the dang cake. I guess I could have eaten the bean, but then according to tradition I’d have to provide the next cake. So…I’ll just leave the bean and baby alone.

Oh food porn, you tempt me with your weird, wild, mini, and plastic baby ways! ><

*Yes I did mean to type “thang.” Trying to work in that Texas drawl there…is that how you spell drawl?

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Food Porn Friday

Hello all out there in blog-land! I have been MIA so much this week from my blogging family, as work and schedule madness have kept me from posting and/or reading all that much.

So, I thought today I would sum up the week with a journey through all of the temptations that have been throwing themselves at me all week. I have been strong, but I will say that I want to go back a couple of weeks and slap myself for ever saying something about not having any cravings.

I am having cravings. A lot of them. So today’s post is dedicated to all those things I can’t have. For the feint of heart (or stomach), you may just want to walk away now.

Birthday Cake

First is my brother's birthday cake. My brother has a sweet new awesome girlfriend, and I think she's great. She also went to culinary school, and loves to cook and bake. This lovely is a red velvet cake with homemade vanilla icing. I had to be content with simply smelling it. His birthday was the 1st of February, this cake sat in my brother's house (I am living with him remember, while Brad goes to school) for 2 freaking weeks! I heard it was good though.

Cookies

Next are these. I didn't see them personally, but Brad passed by them in the cafeteria where he's going to school and decided to send me a text with this photo and the words "food porn?" Have I mentioned I love whipped cream? Yum! But not for me.

more cookies

My brother's sweet girlfriend also made him cookies for Valentine's Day. She's so sweet, but apparently wants to torture me! These are Snickerdoodle cookies, like 2 pounds of them. Have I meantioned that Snickerdoodles are my absolute favorite cookie?? What the heck is up with that, lol! Well, I opened up that ziplock bag, put my head down, and sniffed probably 50 calories out of there. They smelled delicious.

v-day pretzels

And because my brother and his girlfriend are in the puppy-dog stage of their relationship, she decided to accompany the Snickerdoodle cookies with some giant chocolate covered pretzels. And I meant giant. O.o (My brother said they taste yummy)

b-day pretzels

The ironic thing is that the same night my bro's girlfriend gave him pretzels, I was at home creating these little guys. I made them to give to my Dad for his birthday party (which is tonight), and made some extra to bring to our friends' house on Saturday. I figured their little girl would like them. They look good, the chocolate smelled really good while I made them, and the handy nearby paper towel kept me from licking my fingers. πŸ˜‰

Those all look yummy. But my food does too…

groceries

My grocery haul from this week. Probably the most fruits and veggies I've ever bought...and they weren't even in a can! (notice the evil cake lurking in the background)

shake

One of this week's shakes...very yummy!

So…there’s a snapshot of the week. One of the most interesting things to me is that when you choose to “deprive” yourself (and as a side note, I don’t feel deprived…I’m spending way more on these fruits and veggies than I would on a box of Ramen noodles, so I actually feel like I’m treating myself…almost always, lol! Where was I?), people tend to feel bad for you, and they seem to always want to say things like “you’re doing so good, you deserve this!” or “you know you can have one or two!”

Both my brother and my mother said this about the pretzels I made for tonight. “You know you could have one or two, that won’t hurt you.” I politely told them yes I could, but I won’t and no thank you. Luckily they got my point and it stopped there.

The fact of the matter is, that yes I could have one or two. Sure. But I choose not to, and I’m ok with that. In fact, I’m glad for the temptations, because once this race is finally over I’m going to have to concentrate on not ballooning up again. These foods will always be around, whether I like it or not. My brother doesn’t need to lose anything – he’s average sized and exists on hot dogs and Dr. Pepper. He supports me in all facets of this journey, but I don’t need to ask him to not have those things in the house. I have control over me and what goes into my mouth.

The sad thing is…even with all these sweets around…I’ve never been a HUGE sweets person. My downfall is in other places, like mashed potatoes and pasta and bread. So, while all these temptations have been around me all week, what I’ve really been craving is this…

Chicken Fried Steak!

That’s right, chicken fried steak – you know, the kind that covers an entire plate?? With cream gravy, some mashed potatoes that have like 12 sticks of butter in there, and Texas toast. Give me this (minus the chives, ew), over cookies any day.

Someday I’ll have chicken friend steak again – probably not even a fourth of of that size…and I’ll probably pay for it later on the toilet (TMI, sorry!). But, until that day (when I am done with my race to run away from fattiness), I’m content to admire it’s mighty physique and smell the cookies.

Well, most days I’m content anyway.

I hope everyone has a beautiful Friday – and my apologies if I’ve scandalized you with my food porn! πŸ˜‰

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Still Sick Part 2

Well, so this whole week I’ve been out of commission…not enough to miss work (which I haven’t decided if that’s a good or bad thing!), but enough to simply work, eat, and sleep.

I haven’t been out to jog since last Sunday…and I feel achy all over just walking to my car! 😦

Temptation keeps popping it’s ugly head in at work:

hello!

(Very proud of saying no…as donuts are my weakest of weaknesses…)

Oh, and the Super Bowl recipes keep getting weirder…

Tequila Oyster Shooters...um ew!

But, I guess the nice thing about being sick, if there is such a thing, is that I’m not really tempted to eat anything. I have come in under my calorie goal every day this week, without even trying, so yay! (yay?)

The bad thing is that water still tastes gross…so I don’t think I’ve hit my water goals every day, but I’m still drinking as much as I can stand.

So ready to be well, so ready to get back on track…I’m scared about this week’s weigh in 😦

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Still Sick :(

So yeah.

Last night I had a date with a couple of Tylenol PM’s, and woke up somewhat dazed about 12 hours later. I still feel like crap – but not worse than yesterday, which I’m hoping is a good sign.

I still made it out of bed and to work today, and all I want to do is crawl back in bed. I haven’t broken any diet laws, even when walking in the breakroom to not one, not two, but FOUR boxes of kolaches that some evil sweet soul has bought for the office. Have I mentioned that I love kolaches? My relatives migrated from Czechoslovakia dang it, I deserved them! Whoa – anyone who says that food is not an addiction should be punched in the no-no zone.

You know you want one...

I resisted, and then was happy that there was some orange juice as well.

Here I sit, hours later, typing away in my office…cold kolaches still singing their siren song from the breakroom. I get to peep at them every time I go in there for a bottle of water…a peep is all I get.

I’m ready to not be sick anymore…I’m ready to go jog…but I guess tonight I’ll be making out with my pillow once more.

 

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Water Water Everywhere

…and I’m drinking every drop! O.o

The trip to Abilene and back is done, although last night I must say I was slamming down water as much as I could before bed. I feel that my body now sleepwalks to the bathroom several times a night…I remember 3 or 4 of them… πŸ˜‰

To keep up with my water intake at work, I’ve created a little checklist. I know that if I drink 6 bottles at work throughout the day, plus my usual two cups of coffee, I only have to drink one big bottle at night, and hopefully save a couple of those bathroom trips.

Below, because my blog is way too devoid of pics, and because I’m playing with my new favorite photography app, I give you, THE LIST!

Water List

Oh yeah, compelling, isn’t it? Sorry, I’ll work on getting more interesting photos to place on the blog…can’t say when/if I’ll be brave enough to put a pic of me up…yikes!

Anyway, plan is still going great – low cal is getting easier…haven’t had any red meat or chicken in almost 3 weeks, don’t really miss it. Eggs are still tasting good, and shrimp are still my friend…I need to find more good sources of protein though, it’s still too easy to fall back to a bowl of oatmeal or cereal in a pinch, and I am trying to cut out as much of that junk as possible. If anyone has any good protein suggestions, please let me know!

Ok, back to the grind, I’ll leave you with today’s food porn (sorry Allan, I just love that phrase and have to use it!), from the incessant flow of Super Bowl recipes that I have to post out to our websites.

Field of Guacamole

Mmmm…guacamole… πŸ˜‰

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Really??

Diet and exercise plan is still going well! I didn’t make it out for a walk in the 30 degree weather last night…even though I really do enjoy going out in the cold much more, I just had zero energy. I think it’s because I got so caught up in work yesterday and forgot to pace my eating, so I had the stupid jitters by the time I got home last night. Usually the jitterness is a great excuse to shove something sweet down my throat, because that’s what would “help.” Last night I fixed eggs and wheat toast instead, and miraculously I felt fine afterwards without a donut! πŸ˜›

Gotta love the excuses one can come up with to fill the body with crap.

Oh, and speaking of crap…at work I’m helping to create shared content for our stations to use, and right now I’m working on posting shared content with regards to the Super Bowl. One of the initiatives for those pages is user-submitted recipes. So I’ve been staring at photos of chips, dips, pizzas, desserts, you name it for the last few days. Well, I happened to receive a new one today…

Turtle Burgers

These are apparently Louisiana Turtle Burgers. A burger patty, covered with cheese, wrapped in woven bacon strips, and then some hot dog weenies stuck in for good measure.

All at once I was amazed, then kind of grossed out…and the embarrassed because a tiny fat voice in my head started to say “those look good…”

Lol, addicted to food?? Who, me?? πŸ˜‰

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