Isn’t that always the way?

WARNING: Boys, advert your eyes, cause this post mentions some girly gross stuff. It might even have cooties.

I’m totally plugging on in diet lifestyle change land again this week. I’ve been to the work-out-atorium twice, been below my caloric goal each day, found a new blog for inspiration that I’m devouring, and basically having a grand old time. It’s been a bit hard this week since Brad’s had to work late so much. There’s a Big Cahoona coming in for quarterly review mess tomorrow, so it’s all hands on deck at work.

I woke up this morning while Brad was already in the shower, and it was one of those mornings where I woke up, and I just kind of felt thinner. Laughable, at still over 240, I know, but it was just one of those warm and fuzzy moments where my body was telling me that “Hey, you’re doing the right thing. Thanks for feeding me awesome foods and exercising, cause I’m totally digging that.”

I was getting up out of bed all set to say “You’re welcome body, I’m glad that we can work together as a team again,” when BAM. I could totally tell that I had started my period.

You know that feeling..standing up after being in bed…you know what I mean. UGH!

And let me remind my dearest readers that this sensation is not really one that I’m quite accustomed to. Having had PCOS since I was a teenager, I used to only have a lovely visit from nature maybe once a year. And I was ok with that.

Until, you know, finding out that dealing with periods was kind of a thing you HAD to do if you wanted children. But then, it was even better, because I always knew when I was going to have a period, because I was an OCD-cycle-tracking-desperate-to-get-pregnant person.

I’d heard before that after you have a child that sometimes a woman’s body can regulate itself. I didn’t really thing that would happen to me, especially after having gained back so much weight. But I guess it has. Which not only is decidedly inconvenient on the whole being completely surprised thing…but now I’ve got to remember that we can totally get pregnant again…without having to have a bunch of docs involved, etc. That’s awesome…except we are NOT ready to get preggers again so soon!

It may sound VERY silly. But I’ve been married for 13 years, and didn’t have to worry about…um…prevention. Looks like I have some phone calls to make…

So yeah. AT LEAST I know why I’ve been crying at TV commercials and songs for the last few days. Seriously – the TV was set to “Toddler Tunes” yesterday for Reagan, and even reading some of the album titles made me start to cry! (Stay a Baby Forever, I’ll always be Your Mom, etc etc…..oh and don’t EVEN get me started about this song. Jeez!)

Sheesh! All you “normal” womens…I don’t know HOW you do this hormone thing!!! ><

The only other craziness to report is that I had a business lunch today in which lunch was provided. My choices were chopped beef brisket, potato salad, beans and sausage…which giant pieces of fluffy white bread if you wanted to make a sandwich. Oh and a river of BBQ sauce flowed through it.

(I’m in Texas. This is typical.)

I felt obligated to eat it. It was a meeting with a new client for freelance work (building them a website), and they provided lunch. I had a little bit of the beef brisket on bread, and some of the potato salad. After putting the amount I had into MyFitnessPal and overestimating (since I have no idea how this stuff was cooked!), I am guessing I had about 632 calories. It was SO not worth it. The sad thing is that I left about half of the serving of brisket that I took on my plate. Sad as in calories that is. I actually found it very difficult to leave food on the plate (“clean your plate, there’s starving children somewhere!”), so of that I was very proud. But the fact that I wasted over half of what I try to stick to each day on such a measly meal (and greasy, my stomach is NOT happy) is really annoying.

Despite all this, I’m in a pretty good mood, lol!

Question of the Day: What awkward situations have you found yourself in when food is provided? When have you had to force yourself to eat something juts to be nice or save face?

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3 Comments

Filed under personal, random, rant, [in]fertility

3 responses to “Isn’t that always the way?

  1. I just started following you, and I wanted to tell you that the fact that you have conceived with PCOS gives me hope! We just started fertility treatments, and they told me that I have to lose 10 lbs to start the medication. Just wanted to say thanks for blogging! 🙂

  2. Nice girls finish FAT. Fuck saving face or sparing someone’s feelings. The other people don’t care about triggering your binge eating or undoing your good work and progress. NEVER eat something just because it’s there. You wouldn’t smoke a cigarette just because everyone else is. Bring your own food in a cooler next time. PLAN your meals and make them simple. PREPARE stuff ahead of time, in containers in the refrig, ready to go or ready to eat. PACK your planned, prepared food with you every day for work, for errand-running, for social outings. No one else is responsible for feeding you right or controlling your portions. Bring your own food everywhere you go until you get to where you want to be and learn about yourself in the process. That is the only safe thing. Become a control freak and leave no room for error.

    YES, you CAN do this. Anyone who asks why you’re not eating? Medical reason. Anyone who pursues that line of questioning, pushes you to have “just a taste,” tells you that you’re being “too strict,” or mocks your “rabbit food” should be politely told to go shit in a hat.

    If you want this, you do this. All the way.

    As for your cycles…yes. Make the phone call. I have PCOS (not as severe as yours sounds, but my cycles were running anywhere from 40-100 days) and needed medical assistance to conceive #1 (my then-husband also had some fertility issues). When she was five months old, I got pregnant naturally with #2, probably only the second time we had sex after giving birth. So, whoops! It can absolutely happen that you begin ovulating more frequently but you may not recognize it when you do. After #2 was born (during which I had my tubes tied), my periods did become regular for the first time in my life even though I was still obese at 210 lbs or so: 27-30 days and often exactly 28 days just like normal people. So if you’re not ready for #2, get in touch with your GYN and get on some birth control.

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