Perspective

So, I like to keep things light and upbeat most of the time. In my day to day life even, I’m not much of a confrontation person. I think my positive attitude is a great thing and has allowed me to move forward many times in life. So, this post might seem a bit heavier than most but I think it’s something that needs to be put out there, if for no other reason than to remind myself why I’m doing all this life changing.

For me personally, I’m trying to lose weight to have a baby. I know, how strange is it to want to lose weight to get fat! 😉 I have a condition known as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS. I won’t go into all the details about what all that means, but suffice it to say that the condition is highly effected by diet, because it is a form of insulin resistance. It also makes my body grab onto sugar and fat and hold on to it for all it’s worth, making losing weight difficult. It also makes me crave these things more so than a “normal” person.

For the last 3 and a half years my husband and I have been “trying,” with the help of fertility medication. In 2009, after I had lost a significant amount of weight, we did get pregnant, only to miscarry shortly after with a blighted ovum. In early 2010, I had what is known as a chemical pregnancy. So, I drowned myself in food for the most of that year and gained back everything I had lost, until I somehow was able to throw some mental cold water in my face and decide to stop punishing myself and wage war on my fat little body.

Anyway, all of that to say, that while my mind is focused on babies, I forget all of the other health reasons out there that I should be thinking of when making that decision of either shoving a donut in my face or a carrot stick. Today I was sent an email with this post from another blogger…she is only 3 years older than I am, and it shocked me. She is facing some serious health heart-related issues, all related to her weight.

Don’t get me wrong, infertility is horrible and has effected me in many ways, mentally and psychically…but I cannot imaging being so young and having heart issues. This gives me even more of an affirmation that yes, it’s worth going without foods that I enjoy…because that enjoyment is so fleeting compared to the enjoyment that I want to have with my husband and someday a family of my own for YEARS…not for the 10 minutes it takes to scarf down a lunch.

I tell you this not because I need pity or an excuse, PCOS makes it harder to lose weight, but not impossible. If anything I just need to be told “hey that sucks, keep it up!” I’ve given myself more than enough pity over the years and have several pounds of pity weighing me down. 😉 I just wanted to remind myself that if I ever needed motivation, come read this post.

To end on an up note – I braved the 30 degree weather last night (hey, that’s freaking cold for us Texans!) and did my 4 miles. I walked fast the first and last mile, and decided that on the 2 middle miles I’d jog (real jogging, not my usual old lady shuffle) as much as I could and then walk, then jog as soon as I was able to again. I ended up doing the 4 miles in an hour and 5 minutes! I was so excited, that was an average of 16:20 per mile, which is almost 2 minutes per mile faster than usual. Happy!

It’s Friday, weekend is knocking on my door – hope your’s is a great one!

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1 Comment

Filed under mental, personal, sugar addict!

One response to “Perspective

  1. You’re right – it is all about perspective. Looks like you’re looking at things the right way.
    Oh, and good job on the run and record time, despite the cold weather. Cheers, Rick

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